Back on the bike

Day 9 of chemo round 2 and generally much the same as the last time. Nausea has been worse than before and my hair has started to come out in handfuls (I have been assured it will not all fall out, it’ll just become thinner!). There’s no more news on the cancer front, so just need to continue on the chemo until the CT scan in July. As the fatigue seems to kick in during the afternoons, I’ve been using the mornings to clear out lots of the crap I’ve been hoarding for years, which has been quite liberating. ‘Chemo brain’ is kicking in though; I don’t seem to be able to concentrate on anything for very long, meaning there are lots of half-done things around the house at the moment (half renovated deck chairs, half finished sewing, half finished painting projects!). I guess they’ll get done eventually.

I’ve been very lucky to have lots of different friends visit me over the past weeks and that’s been fun. I never made enough time for catch ups with friends while I was working. You definitely need to ensure you make time rather than just always being too busy!

I also had the misfortune of bumping into my ex mother-in-law at the hospital, which was very awkward. I counted myself lucky though, because apparently I only missed my ex husband by a few minutes! I definitely don’t need that on top of everything else!

I’ve spoken to the big boss at county and have now accepted I won’t be able to return to work until at least October. It’s taken quite a lot to get my head around this, but my headteacher mentor visited the other day and made me realise that it really doesn’t matter because there is someone taking my place and keeping my school ticking over; it’ll be looked after and will still be there with all its highs and lows when I am able to return (Thanks Gill!).

Today I got back on my motorbike for the first time since my op. I haven’t been on the bike since last summer, as I’ve just been too ill to ride, so this was a big thing for me. I was really nervous that I wouldn’t be strong enough, but Andy made me do it (I probably wouldn’t have otherwise!). I’m so glad he did; I’d forgotten how good it feels to open the throttle on a clear road.