“The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agle”
Robert Burns
I had been known amongst colleagues for my cough for a few years. They knew it was me coming down the corridor; they could tell by my cough. I’d had different antibiotics and chest X-rays when it got bad, but generally it would clear up and go away for a couple of months or so. I even broke two ribs in 2011 from coughing! Little did I know that this was to be an early indicator of my illness.
I’d also been having stomach issues for a few months, so was exploring food intolerances and allergies. I tested negative for coeliac disease, though I was finding that a gluten free diet seemed to help somewhat with my tummy pain issues. I also became very interested in food combining (introduced to me by Granville). This also appeared to alleviate some of the symptoms. The doctors put me on Mebeverine tablets which I’m not really sure ever made any difference, but I took them anyway.
Our holiday in Gran Canaria in Summer 2017 was when the coughing became really bad, hacking and continuous. That’s when Andy sent me to the doctors. I went through the rigmarole again of antibiotics, chest X-rays etc. But after weeks of tablets and tests, they couldn’t find anything. They decided it could be silent reflux, so they put me on Lanzoprazole.
I started my first headship in September and not long after, the stomach pain started to get worse. Initially I put it down to the stress of the new job because I couldn’t pin down any particular food causing it. I began losing weight. I went back to the doctors (I hadn’t really stopped going back, it felt like I needed 3-weekly appointments booked in advance). They referred me for an ultrasound, which came back fine, so then they referred me for a gastroscopy (at the time one of the most horrendous experiences of my life!). The gastroscopy showed I had gastritis and oesophagitis but also some bile in my stomach. They upped my dosage of Lanzoprazole and told me to take Gaviscon as well. They advised I ate soft, plain food to avoid irritating the gastritis and let it heal.
Over the next few weeks and months I lost more weight, the abdominal pains were getting worse and worse and sometimes I was coughing until I was sick. I was seeing a doctor every 2-3 weeks but felt like I was being fobbed off. Anti sickness tablets were prescribed but didn’t really work. Codeine was given to cope with the pain. By this point I had lost about two and a half stone and couldn’t stomach much...not even alcohol!
By January, I had started to have night sweats and hot and cold flushes, so the doctors shifted their focus towards early menopause for a while. By mid January, the pain was becoming unbearable. I saw a doctor and told him I could feel a lump in my abdomen . He decided there might be a blockage in my bowl so a higher dosage of codeine was prescribed for the pain and Movicol for the constipation. This didn’t work so I went back and saw a nurse practitioner who agreed she could feel the lump too and brought a doctor into the room to confirm this. I was then referred for another ultrasound and also a colonoscopy. The ultrasound again was clear (as they “Only look at kidneys and the reproductive organs, not the bowels” I was rudely told by the sonographer). The referral for a colonoscopy got lost in the system!
So after I chased up and got re-referred to the hospital for a colorectal appointment on 7th February this year, the consultant immediately arranged a CT scan. By the 9th February, the consultant had called me saying there was a large lump which could be an abscess but most likely a lymphoma. He sent the scan to the Royal Marsden for a second opinion before deciding on the way forward.
This was the first time a cancer had even been mentioned. I was in so much pain I had been put on slow release morphine and oramorph and signed myself off sick. We just clung onto the hope that it was an abscess and not cancer.
I received an appointment for a sigmoidoscopy (like a colonoscopy but exploring a specific part of the colon). However, in preparation for this procedure, I was sent sachets of a drink I had to make up with water and take at regular intervals over the two days before the procedure (bearing in mind that by this stage I couldn’t even keep much fluid down and was vomiting 3-4 times a day). This evil liquid not only tasted disgusting, but gave me the shits for the whole weekend! This experience definitely outstripped the gastroscopy in the ‘most horrendous experience’ tables!
So, on Monday 26th February, I woke up in so much pain that I couldn’t even move. I called the hospital to say I was not sure I could even get in the car to come and have the procedure and that we may need to go to A and E instead. They advised I took some more morphine and come in straight away as A and E would only delay the process. Luckily I was able to get into the car and get to the hospital (with Andy’s help of course, as I hadn’t been able to drive for at least a week by this point due to the morphine dose I was on). They carried out the procedure and took biopsies which confirmed that it was definitely cancer. They admitted me to hospital the same day.
I’d also been having stomach issues for a few months, so was exploring food intolerances and allergies. I tested negative for coeliac disease, though I was finding that a gluten free diet seemed to help somewhat with my tummy pain issues. I also became very interested in food combining (introduced to me by Granville). This also appeared to alleviate some of the symptoms. The doctors put me on Mebeverine tablets which I’m not really sure ever made any difference, but I took them anyway.
Our holiday in Gran Canaria in Summer 2017 was when the coughing became really bad, hacking and continuous. That’s when Andy sent me to the doctors. I went through the rigmarole again of antibiotics, chest X-rays etc. But after weeks of tablets and tests, they couldn’t find anything. They decided it could be silent reflux, so they put me on Lanzoprazole.
I started my first headship in September and not long after, the stomach pain started to get worse. Initially I put it down to the stress of the new job because I couldn’t pin down any particular food causing it. I began losing weight. I went back to the doctors (I hadn’t really stopped going back, it felt like I needed 3-weekly appointments booked in advance). They referred me for an ultrasound, which came back fine, so then they referred me for a gastroscopy (at the time one of the most horrendous experiences of my life!). The gastroscopy showed I had gastritis and oesophagitis but also some bile in my stomach. They upped my dosage of Lanzoprazole and told me to take Gaviscon as well. They advised I ate soft, plain food to avoid irritating the gastritis and let it heal.
Over the next few weeks and months I lost more weight, the abdominal pains were getting worse and worse and sometimes I was coughing until I was sick. I was seeing a doctor every 2-3 weeks but felt like I was being fobbed off. Anti sickness tablets were prescribed but didn’t really work. Codeine was given to cope with the pain. By this point I had lost about two and a half stone and couldn’t stomach much...not even alcohol!
By January, I had started to have night sweats and hot and cold flushes, so the doctors shifted their focus towards early menopause for a while. By mid January, the pain was becoming unbearable. I saw a doctor and told him I could feel a lump in my abdomen . He decided there might be a blockage in my bowl so a higher dosage of codeine was prescribed for the pain and Movicol for the constipation. This didn’t work so I went back and saw a nurse practitioner who agreed she could feel the lump too and brought a doctor into the room to confirm this. I was then referred for another ultrasound and also a colonoscopy. The ultrasound again was clear (as they “Only look at kidneys and the reproductive organs, not the bowels” I was rudely told by the sonographer). The referral for a colonoscopy got lost in the system!
So after I chased up and got re-referred to the hospital for a colorectal appointment on 7th February this year, the consultant immediately arranged a CT scan. By the 9th February, the consultant had called me saying there was a large lump which could be an abscess but most likely a lymphoma. He sent the scan to the Royal Marsden for a second opinion before deciding on the way forward.
This was the first time a cancer had even been mentioned. I was in so much pain I had been put on slow release morphine and oramorph and signed myself off sick. We just clung onto the hope that it was an abscess and not cancer.
I received an appointment for a sigmoidoscopy (like a colonoscopy but exploring a specific part of the colon). However, in preparation for this procedure, I was sent sachets of a drink I had to make up with water and take at regular intervals over the two days before the procedure (bearing in mind that by this stage I couldn’t even keep much fluid down and was vomiting 3-4 times a day). This evil liquid not only tasted disgusting, but gave me the shits for the whole weekend! This experience definitely outstripped the gastroscopy in the ‘most horrendous experience’ tables!
So, on Monday 26th February, I woke up in so much pain that I couldn’t even move. I called the hospital to say I was not sure I could even get in the car to come and have the procedure and that we may need to go to A and E instead. They advised I took some more morphine and come in straight away as A and E would only delay the process. Luckily I was able to get into the car and get to the hospital (with Andy’s help of course, as I hadn’t been able to drive for at least a week by this point due to the morphine dose I was on). They carried out the procedure and took biopsies which confirmed that it was definitely cancer. They admitted me to hospital the same day.
The following day (Tuesday), I was told that they would be operating to remove the tumour on Thursday...
