This blog entry comes from The Grand Hotel in Torquay. Andy is back working for his previous employer and he’s down here working for the week, so I have come too for a change of scenery.
I’ve not written for a little while, as things have been rather quiet, but I have been doing a lot of reflection recently, plus there is news to tell...
First with the news. I can now (finally!) announce that my eighteen year old daughter is pregnant, due in November, so I’m going to be a grandmother at the grand old age of 40. I didn’t really need this additional drama in my life and, to be honest, nor does she, but, what is, is!
The second bit of news is that Andy has proposed! We had always said we wanted to marry eventually, but now the time seems right. After chemo, he took me for lunch at the pub where we first met, got down on one knee, nearly knocked the table over and then asked me to marry him! Obviously I said, “Yes!” So now I have a wedding to plan - Arrrgh! It’ll definitely be a very quiet, personal affair, so don’t go out buying hats or anything. We’re not going to set a date until after my CT scan in July, as the outcome will affect our plans. Whatever happens, I am happy.
Back to the reflection, the title of this post. I started chemo round three on Thursday and saw a few familiar faces of other people going through some form of chemo treatment (I can’t believe how many different treatmenst there are for all the different types of cancer). We all got talking and one of the ladies, who has had breast cancer, was feeling really low and said she had really been suffering with the chemo (she was moaning and complaining a lot!). She has lost most of her hair, which she has really coped with well and I admire her courage. I’m going to get mine cut short this week as it’s coming out in handfuls and becoming really thin - I’m petrified of doing it though!
As I continued talking to this lady at the clinic, she revealed that they had managed to get all of her cancer out and that the chemo had been offered just as a preventative option. I actually felt jealous initially and I also felt slightly cross at how depressing she was being about how awful and hard going her chemo was. At least she has a more favourable prognosis; I have no choice and my cancer is highly likely to return!
Since this moment, I have really spent quite a lot of time assimilating these feelings and, on reflection, have talked myself back round to the understanding (which actually I always had before I got ill) that everybody’s on their own journey, and everybody’s journey is different; you should not and cannot compare, because the way you perceive others’ journeys is just your perception- not theirs. The same with my daughter’s situation; we have to respect people’s life decisions because they are theirs to make.
I also think, teachers have to grapple with this concept as we have a role and a duty to influence and shape our pupils to become the best they can be, but all we can do is guide them; they have to make their life choices for themselves.
Anyway, I’m rambling. Chemo round three is underway. The sickness is not so bad this time so far, but it’s early days. I’m gutted to have missed the annual drama of SATs week for the first time since qualifying as a teacher, but I know my staff will have ensured the children did their best.
It’s very interesting being off work during term time. The shops are really quiet and it’s actually lovely to have no kids around. I’m now off to enjoy the spa! 😁
