A Year On...

It is exactly a year ago today that I received the diagnosis of bowel cancer. Wow! What a year it’s been. After three lines of failed chemo treatment, sepsis, multiple stays in hospital, I didn’t think I’d still be here. But, I am, and I am very grateful for that. I have so much to be thankful for with my wonderful friends, family, nurses and doctors. I’m just taking each day as it comes and ‘what will be, will be’.

I also had some news at the weekend from my consultant. He had, with little hope, written to a drug company which produces an immunotherapy drug that is unavailable on the NHS, asking them about the possibility of supplying it exclusively for me to try on a named patient basis. He was expecting a, “No,” but they have said, “Yes”. A course of treatment is really expensive (in the hundreds of thousands), but apparently they will supply it free of charge! There is little evidence of any effectiveness of this drug on bowel cancer, but it’s a door of hope when we had accepted that there was nothing else left to try. I’m not sure when the treatment will begin, but hopefully soon. I hope that the side effects are minimal as I’ve been feeling a lot better this last week or two.

Retired

So, the day has arrived for my official retirement. Thanks to everyone who has sent flowers, cards and well wishes. I really appreciate it. It’s been quite an emotional day. 

I am so lucky to have met and worked with so many fabulous people in education and consider myself privileged to have had the opportunities I have had in my career. It’s so sad that it had to end but I’m grateful for the time I did have to devote to a job I absolutely loved.

There’s nothing more to say.

Third Line Chemo

I have a new consultant who started me on the third type of chemo just over a week ago. Since starting on this, I have been vomiting a lot and feeling sick, as well as having severe cramping type pain in my abdomen. On Thursday I saw the consultant again as my tummy had become distended and the symptoms were not subsiding. The consultant decided to take me off the chemo as it was making me so ill. He rightly said that at my stage of cancer, it’s a case of drawing a line between the benefits of treatment and quality of life. We know that any treatment given now will not cure me and the best it can do is prolong life.

It turns out the distended abdomen was a blocked bowel and this has now release itself, though there is still pain in that area. The consultant prescribed some different anti sickness tablets and also some steroids so we’ll see if they help alleviate some of the symptoms. 

My neuropathy in my feet has worsened to the point that there is permanent numbness from the toes to the bridge of the foot. It’s a strange feeling, like when you’ve been walking in the snow for a long time and your feet feel numb. The doctors have said that it is permanent nerve damage from the previous chemo. It makes walking any distance quite difficult, so the wheelchair will be used increasingly I should imagine.

My retirement due to ill health is now confirmed, so I will officially cease employment on 14th February. It has been very emotional dealing with this and the fact I can’t ever go back to work, but hopefully this will now bring closure to the work side of things.

Lastly, I just want to thank everyone who has visited, messaged and read my blog. I’m absorbing all of the love and it really does help me along when I’m feeling low.