A Year On...

It is exactly a year ago today that I received the diagnosis of bowel cancer. Wow! What a year it’s been. After three lines of failed chemo treatment, sepsis, multiple stays in hospital, I didn’t think I’d still be here. But, I am, and I am very grateful for that. I have so much to be thankful for with my wonderful friends, family, nurses and doctors. I’m just taking each day as it comes and ‘what will be, will be’.

I also had some news at the weekend from my consultant. He had, with little hope, written to a drug company which produces an immunotherapy drug that is unavailable on the NHS, asking them about the possibility of supplying it exclusively for me to try on a named patient basis. He was expecting a, “No,” but they have said, “Yes”. A course of treatment is really expensive (in the hundreds of thousands), but apparently they will supply it free of charge! There is little evidence of any effectiveness of this drug on bowel cancer, but it’s a door of hope when we had accepted that there was nothing else left to try. I’m not sure when the treatment will begin, but hopefully soon. I hope that the side effects are minimal as I’ve been feeling a lot better this last week or two.

Retired

So, the day has arrived for my official retirement. Thanks to everyone who has sent flowers, cards and well wishes. I really appreciate it. It’s been quite an emotional day. 

I am so lucky to have met and worked with so many fabulous people in education and consider myself privileged to have had the opportunities I have had in my career. It’s so sad that it had to end but I’m grateful for the time I did have to devote to a job I absolutely loved.

There’s nothing more to say.

Third Line Chemo

I have a new consultant who started me on the third type of chemo just over a week ago. Since starting on this, I have been vomiting a lot and feeling sick, as well as having severe cramping type pain in my abdomen. On Thursday I saw the consultant again as my tummy had become distended and the symptoms were not subsiding. The consultant decided to take me off the chemo as it was making me so ill. He rightly said that at my stage of cancer, it’s a case of drawing a line between the benefits of treatment and quality of life. We know that any treatment given now will not cure me and the best it can do is prolong life.

It turns out the distended abdomen was a blocked bowel and this has now release itself, though there is still pain in that area. The consultant prescribed some different anti sickness tablets and also some steroids so we’ll see if they help alleviate some of the symptoms. 

My neuropathy in my feet has worsened to the point that there is permanent numbness from the toes to the bridge of the foot. It’s a strange feeling, like when you’ve been walking in the snow for a long time and your feet feel numb. The doctors have said that it is permanent nerve damage from the previous chemo. It makes walking any distance quite difficult, so the wheelchair will be used increasingly I should imagine.

My retirement due to ill health is now confirmed, so I will officially cease employment on 14th February. It has been very emotional dealing with this and the fact I can’t ever go back to work, but hopefully this will now bring closure to the work side of things.

Lastly, I just want to thank everyone who has visited, messaged and read my blog. I’m absorbing all of the love and it really does help me along when I’m feeling low.

Bad News

I have received a telephone call from the Royal Marsden saying that I have not been successful in getting onto the immunotherapy trials due to my low levels of haemoglobin. They said it wasn’t fair to go through another screening process which is time consuming with little prospect of success without multiple blood transfusions which the trials don’t allow without a three week post-transfusion gap.

So I am waiting to speak to my oncologist to get started on Lonsurf (what I believe to be the last type of chemo treatment available to me).

Physically I haven’t been too bad. I’m struggling with dizziness and in the last couple of days my feet have become puffy and they hurt. I’m still getting nausea in the morning and when I get too hot. 

Also, I am still being plagued by night sweats, which Andy is great with helping me change the bedsheets in the middle of the night!

On the plus side we had a lovely Christmas with my children and the baby.

The Royal Marsden

We went to London for an initial consultation visit with the Royal Marsden Hospital and, from the information they have so far, there is nothing to exclude me from the clinical trials of the new immunotherapy drug TSR-042 they are trialling. There are many more criteria that needs to be tested for/screened before I would be accepted onto the trial though. They are even taking my original tumour out of storage to take a biopsy!

They invited me back this week to begin screening all of the remaining criteria required for my body to meet. They also need me to have another CT scan before the end of the screening period but they need to do it there in London. Basically they have 35 days to complete the screening process and let me know if I am in or out of the trials.

Really it’s all stuff that’s out of my control but one criteria is that my haemoglobin must be above 90. I can’t remember the last time it was that high. And you cannot begin the trial within three weeks of having a blood transfusion. I think this could be the one that lets me down, but we’ll just have to wait and see.

If I do get on the trials, I will have to travel to London twice every three weeks. It takes almost two hours each way, so it’s quite a trek for both Andy Andy and me. I nearly passed out on our first visit so we brought me in from the car park in the wheelchair the second time.

Otherwise I’m not bad in myself, just tired and can’t get about very much.

Scan results

The results are back and it’s not good news I’m afraid. The cancer has progressed and the tumours have all increased in size. Consequently, they have stopped the chemotherapy I was on - it hasn’t worked again!

My consultant is now going to contact the Royal Marsden Hospital in London to find out if they can offer me any immunotherapy clinical trials. We’ll just have to wait and see.

My anti sickness tablets have been changed again and, although it’s only been a few days, they do seem to be helping. They make me feel very tired though. I’ve not been getting up very early lately and some days I’ve just stayed in my pyjamas all day!

I’m struggling to get motivated for Christmas too. I have no idea what to do for gifts for family I’m unlikely to get to see. Normally we would drive all over the place visiting family, but this year I’m not up to it. Hopefully I’ll think of something. 

In and out of hospital

I’m now a grandmother! Mum and baby are doing fine. As well as baby visits I’ve spent time in and out of hospital and overall been quite poorly. First it was suspected internal bleeding as I had black stools. However, after and endoscopy and X-rays, they can’t find a source of bleeding so they changed some of my meds and sent me home. Then, after a blood transfusion, I had an episode of severe lower back pain which landed me in A&E. They admitted me but are still unsure if it was a reaction to the transfusion or an infection. Now I’m back at home. I’ve got a CT scan on Monday and consultant appointment on Thursday which will give us an update on whether this chemo has done anything. I do feel as though I have deteriorated though. I’m struggling to get about as much and off my food. We’ll see what they say on Thursday.